i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
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we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
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Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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