Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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