I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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