i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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