My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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