Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
