brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
