please come you make the beer taste better
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize