It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
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she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
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You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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