Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
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no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
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I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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