she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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