I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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