Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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