i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize