we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize