stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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