Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize