Where did you get a picture of my penis
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do vagina's smell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize