He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize