Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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