Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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