The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize