Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize