Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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