Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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