Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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