Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
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The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
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Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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