There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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