Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize