I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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