I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize