whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize