id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
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i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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