He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
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Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
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I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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