I need to stop coming to work sober
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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