before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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