New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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