this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize