if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
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AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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