roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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