i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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