God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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