I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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