all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
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At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
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Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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