Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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