True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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