The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize