4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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