You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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