I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
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FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
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Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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