I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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