she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize